Happy birthday to me!

Today I turn 26.

I stopped dreaming about specific goals when I turned 21. The years prior, only dreamt about Tisha the professional—I dreamt about graduating law school, passing the bar, moving to New York and being financially stable. That’s it. Of course I wanted to be happy, but I never dreamt about what would truly make me happy. I didn’t dream about the type of woman I wanted to become or how I truly wanted to live in this world.

When I turned 25, I felt a shift. My 25th birthday was truly one of the most memorable ones. I felt loved—I felt love from my family, my friends, my fiancé (then boyfriend) my peers, my internet friends. I felt love all around and that made me happy. It felt great to be celebrated.

I had a lot of celebrate at 25, but I also endured a lot of hardship. Twenty-five was the most difficult year of my life. I started going to therapy—I uncovered feelings I didn’t know existed; I dealt with trauma that I subconsciously suppressed; I grew distant from God; I unearthed habits that brought me no good or joy but pain; I put a mirror to myself and started learning who I am and chose who I want to become. Twenty-five was a year of growth. My fiancé foresaw this—it was his (in the end, our) word of the year. The “growing pains” laid the foundation for what I want to achieve at 26, God willing.

So, for 26, I want, and will accomplish, a few things.

1. I want to dream about my future self—a happy Tisha: happy with myself and my relationships.

2. I want my confidence back. My self-confidence shattered into pieces at 25. It hurt, but as one crack formed, I ran into it. I’m building it back.

3. I will speak to myself (and think of myself) in a kind, loving, respectable way. Words mean things (s/o to Kid Fury and Crissle). And I said some horrible things to myself this past year. Now that I’m aware of this habit, I will let go of it.

4. I will celebrate and appreciate my happy moments! I usually cut the moment short and think/say “this is too good, something bad will happen next.” I’m not doing this anymore. I have so much to be grateful for and will rejoice in all of it!

5. I want to tap into my purpose. My career as a lawyer isn’t my purpose. I’ve worked toward this career since I was 11, but at 25 I realized its not my purpose, and that’s ok. I know what my purpose is and this year, I will be intentional about working toward it and walking in it. * Let the Church say Amen*.

My list is a lot longer than this, but I felt comfortable sharing these five.

Thank you for always reading. I appreciate you. ❤️